coupled

Couple things.
rather than a couple of things.
Last week I was the third wheel twice. Movies the first night, dinner the second night.
The online reservation at the swanky restaurant that I absolutely love was for three.
Three is an odd number not divisible by two.
It honestly was not that big of a deal because I was spending time with people I care about.  The current rocks in my life. But, I am curious when and how this changes.

This week has been tough. A friend from home lost her husband. I would say unexpectedly but even when you know it is coming it feels unexpected and sudden. After Christmas she had posted the sweetest picture of them and then within a matter of two weeks he became gravely ill
and all of the medical technology known to man could not prevent his escape.
This new pain only takes me to another friend that I still grieve for. His exit from this world still wrecks me. At Thanksgiving I saw his face in his son's face and the rawness of that image
I cannot define.
Ever have one of those days where you take inventory and begin to question you are doing?
Yep, that is the state I bounce back and forth in all the time.
I know it will be all right.. just keep wondering.

I am reading The Art of Sleeping Alone.
You would think I would have this mastered since it has been since 2009 - but additional insight is always good.
It is not the best memoir  NYT Review  but has points that are understandable.