Tuesday, April 19, 2016

The mat

Deja Vu on the mat.
It happens.
It happens a lot.
Last night during Yin - my face is was flat on the mat and I thought..oh my. in a few short months I am going to be doing yoga with a few people I was doing yoga with  in 2009. And in similar circumstances.
This is 2016.  That was 2009.
By the time it is all said and over  - that gap is seven years.
It can't be right.
And then thinking of all things that have changed and why.
It can't be right.

During Shavasana I quickly day dreamed I was smashed between two armored vehicles.

Who knows why.  Obviously, I have been rewriting my will to serve a specific purpose for the next 18 months -  that's why

SO, I will go back tonight to find the mat again.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Often I am mesmerized by the written word of others.
Once again another OIF vet finds my hidden voice.
I loved and recognized the language in this book and did not want it to end.

Matthew Gallagher OIF Veteran nails it.

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Thursday, February 11, 2016

Tonight I had an Epiphany.

Small but important.

For about the last five years I see deer. 

I find them or they find me.

They meet me in parking lots when I have to attend important meetings.

They have guided to locations that I have never been.

I used to see them at work all the time and they would meet me in Ute Valley Park.

They have stood under street lights in the fog for me. Small fawns have stood beside roadsides and mommas have brought their babies to my proximity.

You may say, you live in Colorado –Deer live there by the herds. No, this is different.


Last Sunday I moved into my new temporary place in New Mexico. I have not spotted too many deer here but  for the last three days I have had bunny visitors. When I have my morning coffee they wake up early and visit. Last night when I pulled into the driveway one was waiting for my dead center welcoming me back.  NM has a lot of bunnies but they seem to be meeting me on trails and now in my own backyard.



Coincidence? Probably not.

Whomever or whatever is sending me the bunnies, thank you. I feel it. 

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Constitutional and self defense rights of everyone, particularly women

Big Guy

The place I am currently staying is owned by a Czech man.
Occasionally, we have a slight communication gap but not much.
Yesterday, I texted him.

“Look at this big guy I found on the balcony this morning. Does he belong to you”

OK – Big Guy = Fat Barn Cat

He called me right away worried that someone was on the deck and that no one should be out there.

I asked if he had looked at the picture of the cat and he said no…
 I told him I was visited by a barn cat.

And then we each nervously laughed and wished each other a good day…


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Why I Ruck?

Why I Ruck?
A few years ago I heard a few people talk about GORUCK events. I tucked the idea away in my head and left it there for a bit. In November 2013 I signed up for my first event that would take place in Santa Fe, NM in January 2014.  After examining the different levels of events I signed up for the Light.  I knew there was no way in heck I would be able to do a challenge. The week before my scheduled event I received an email from the GORUCK HQ telling me that that the Light was being cancelled and that my credit could be transferred to another event. The Santa Fe Challenge had not been cancelled. The gentleman on the phone said that if I could do a light there is no reason why I could not do a challenge, it is the same principles just a little longer. I fell for it and signed up. I had no idea what to really expect and I packed and prepared. I drove up a little early and had lunch with one my favorite people in the worked. I took this as sign of good luck and world’s aligning as our inability to see each other in person is maddening. Hours later I found myself in the middle of the Santa Fe square at 9pm with a dozen other weirdo’s many have having the same skeptical look in their eyes. Bear crawls, crab walks, Red Solo cup relay races, burpee’s, and squats. This is what they call the welcome party. Depending which cadre does the welcoming – they are all a little different.   I had heard about Cadre Joel through mutual friends and just hoped if I could make it through the damn welcoming party; I could make it through the remaining 11 hours.  Although my equipment did not fail, I definitely had the wrong equipment.  I had an awesome Marmot bag that was just a little too big and I could not cinch it up tight enough. Imagine the bag sliding dramatically left or right the entire night as you are carrying heavy crap, crawling, and attempting to do the perfect monkey f$%ker.  Within an hour or so we became a team. It was like science class when you studied the transformation of the cocoon to the butterfly. Ok maybe not that eloquent or magically but it was transformation. We learned a lot and I discovered that I love a challenge and it is even sweeter when you can accomplish it as a team.
These events test me every single time. Sometimes I feel I am too old to be out there. I am almost 45.  Or that my upper body strength is not nearly competitive enough for this group.  Or I just go with the idea I have no business being out there to begin with. I am not a cross fitter and no I do not really lift or squat.
I am proud that we pay attention to details and teach others respect. The American Flag is at the front of the team and out of honor and respect, we never let the flag touch the ground. Believe me, I have witnessed the catastrophic event happen – paying for it in kind is never good.
I am often asked why I do it – well because I can and because I need to be challenged. There is an enormous amount of goodness that come from taking 15-20 complete strangers – accomplishing tasks, encouraging and becoming better Americans. We need more of this actually.  That is why I ruck.

Sunday, March 08, 2015

Go Fund Campaign - Attack the Demand

Saturday, January 03, 2015

Author Michael Pitre discusses his novel FIVES & TWENTY-FIVES

If you are looking for something to add to your reading list for 2015 - I would add this to the top. Breathtaking.

Well, well 2015

I welcome 2015 and say goodbye to 2014.
It was a good year all things considering. The Ups were amazing and the Downs sucked. Much like any other year. I am grateful for the opportunities, experiences, challenges, and look forward to more the same.

I am three days late making the good luck cabbage. I am not even sure it is luck that I need in 2015.

Things for 2015. These are not even goals  = just things that will happen

Sell my home. Which includes all the prep that needs to happen beforehand. I will not be intimidated.
Take a few risks and wallow in known comfort.